Mates

The most important thing on a teenager’s agenda is hanging out with their mates. During their teenage years, boys are looking for ways to separate from their families and define themselves as individuals and increasingly turn to their mates for support and direction.

They tend to imitate their mates’ behaviours and embrace the same attitudes. This helps them define themselves while earning acceptance and approval. Fitting in simply feels good. Hanging out with friends is about teenagers confirming who they are and carving out their place in the world.

If everyone came from a rugby playing family our jobs would be easy, but this isn’t always the case of course.

So, a teen’s group can actually provide a link to the game that wouldn’t otherwise be there.

But it’s important to remember this pathway is two-directional. If one player decides to leave the game, there is a good chance his friends will follow. However, the opposite also applies - if one decides to stay with the game, there is a good chance his mates will too.

“I love playing with my boys. We play hard together, and we party hard too!”

While peer pressure is generally seen as a bad thing, mates can have a positive influence too, especially when they have the drive and commitment to stick to their guns and achieve something. A group of mates who spend a lot of time together help motivate each other toward common goals, making all of them more resourceful and successful.

The confidence, motivation and social skills developed through a solid network of mates teaches teenagers how to behave in social situations, setting them up well for the future.

 “I remember when I dropped this ball and the opposition gave me a hard time, but one of my mates, slapped me on the back – he didn’t have to say anything – I knew he had my back.”

Teenagers are more likely to hang out with other people their age with shared interests - but in some cases it can take a while to figure out what those interests are. An interesting point about teens is they will rarely push each other to do things they don’t want to - they are much subtler than that.

You only have to look at their Facebook friends to realise there are a large number of people who can influence them - but their real mates are usually an entirely different group, and probably a lot smaller - your own Facebook account will probably attest to this.

Any boys’ mates are like brothers, they will form lifelong friends from this group and when it comes to rugby, these relationships are extremely important.